Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
