Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
