he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
