Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
