They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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