you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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