you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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