you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
