Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The feeling are messing with the penis
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
