okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize