So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
