dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
