yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
