you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
