he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
