I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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