I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
