You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
