Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
