Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Bring me that man meat
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
