he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
fuck your aforementioned shoe
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
