worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
