shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
