i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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