I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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