It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero