my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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