So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
