Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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