the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
