Tell her she can't have a vagina
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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