I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
