Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
