I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
