would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Come share oat with me in your robe
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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