Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
