3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
