I smell stomach acid.
You smell like stripper and shame
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
