you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
