I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
be right there i have to get my cape
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
