So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
