i was born a porn star she said
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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