I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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