Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish you could order shots online.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
