You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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