you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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