I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
zippers are such a cool invention
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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