party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize