It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need a beard to bite.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
