I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i barfeds in our rink
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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