Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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