They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
