I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
