Yo dont text me then not text me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
