So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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