What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize