he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
