I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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