I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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