omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
