nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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